How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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