this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize