you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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