I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
