how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you had me at cake vodka
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
