so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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