...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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