I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
