Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
