We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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