i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize