Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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