Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
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planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.