Can Purell be used as lube?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is