This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
