Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
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One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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