I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
