i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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