so explain again why im purple
no
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
