so explain again why im purple
no
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
