it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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