Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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