id be glad to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.