whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
