Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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