lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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