My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream