his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?