I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic