You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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