i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
