Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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