Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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