***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
