After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize