If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize