it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
