ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
