those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
