i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
