and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
