He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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