My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
