It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
