I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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