so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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