just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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