dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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