I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
