what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
