and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
