Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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