Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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