I am in a vortex of obligation.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize