i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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