Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
