Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
